so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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