She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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