Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
