brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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