I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
