Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
