you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize