Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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