Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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