You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
