you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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