I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
