She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I wear drunk well.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize