Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
