yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
