no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
