I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
