DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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