If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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