my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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