Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
