No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
