I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
