omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's blow job season.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize