You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
