I'm lost and stupid without you.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
