he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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