She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
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