Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
