he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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