did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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