just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
