obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
