woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
