you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
