I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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