He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
