I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
