well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Randomize
