porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
