he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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