Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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