We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
