some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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