Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
