he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
