The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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