Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
