It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
