She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
