Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
