is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
