Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
