Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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