Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
