this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
