You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My cat gives me a boner
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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