my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
