I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
