if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
