This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
