Cold hands, warm shart.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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