it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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