The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
