i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
