I hate your face
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
